Parents, our greatest ally
Jul. 31, 2013 at 09:01 AM | By Mary Docken | Comment Count
“Helicopter”, “bulldozer”, “trailblazer.” These are just a few words used to describe parents of today’s college bound high school students. Over the course of the past 30+ years, I have worked with parents on both sides of the college admissions desk. It has been a rich and rewarding experience, even when parents might be described as a “bulldozer.”
What I have come to appreciate about parents is that they want the best for their children, no matter what their station in life may be. Parents will often have a laundry list of questions that can seem overwhelming and repetitive but, in many cases, they have some of the best questions. From experience, it is oftentimes that they simply need help in figuring out the right questions to ask. In the end, schools, colleges, and parents have a shared goal – success for the student. One of my favorite resources to direct students and parents to is the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE) “A Pocket Guide to Choosing a College.”
Opportunities exist for institutions to engage with parents in multiple ways that provide not only answers to their questions but help build authentic relationships with them. When I worked on the college side of the admissions desk, I use to think education had created such a straightforward process that certainly anyone could navigate. Then I returned to the high school side as a Director of College Counseling. It was this experience that taught me how complex and challenging the admissions process really is - assortments of admission deadlines and application forms, various types of admission decisions, a plethora of merit-based aid programs, visit programs, and multi-channel communication from thousands of colleges or universities.
Today, even parents who attended and graduated from college couldn’t recognize the admissions process from their own experience. Eventually this may change, but in the meantime, let’s find ways to help parents through the process by understanding their concerns, questions and viewing them not as bulldozers but as people who love their children and simply want the best for them.
We can . . .
- Help parents identify strong questions to ask their student and institutions - Graduation and retention rates? Job placement? Advising and planning process while enrolled in college? Student indebtedness and financial planning? (Payscale.com is a great resource to help parents get started with the conversation.)
- Encourage parents to talk with other parents who are beginning or completing the admissions process. It’s okay for parents to reach out for help from those who have children in college. - Are there school or community sponsored events available for parents to engage with one another about college planning?
- Convey to parents and students that getting accepted is not a linear process. Most of the time, where students start in their college search is not where they end up. I had one student who was set on going out-of-state her junior year. However, I encouraged her to keep her options open and look at in-state schools to ensure she makes the best decision for her. By graduation, she had enrolled into a school located in her hometown. - High school counselor Chelette Stephenson provides some useful ideas on how parents and students can better navigate the process.
- Support parents in being clear about their parameters for college. - What is the financial reality of college attendance? Can your student attend in-state or out-of-state? Accelerated degree-completion options? Rod Oto, dean of Admissions and director of Student Financial Services at Carleton College, offers recommendations on college affordability and financial aid.
- Express to students and parents the importance of maintaining a relationship with schools they are interested in applying to. - A student’s demonstrated interest is often taken into consideration in competitive admissions environments. This means students will need to answer emails, pick up the phone, respond to postcards and mailings, and attend admissions events to show their interest.